Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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