I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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