Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
thus making me awesome and them whores
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
