Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
