I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
