There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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