I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
