Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
