You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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