I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
