my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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