I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
