There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
