Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
