it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
