Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
