yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
