In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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