ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have already put on my inside pants.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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