Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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