But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize