You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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