sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Panties = found
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