I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
