those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
