brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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