Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
