So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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