I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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