Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
