You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
