Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
