Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
