Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
