Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
