what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
