ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
