You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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