Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
