oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
