She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize