apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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