Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
