The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
a search helicopter?!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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