My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The power of my boobs compel you
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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