ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's shark week go big or go home
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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