So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
