this beer tastes like vomit already
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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