I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
