I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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