The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i think i just lost a toe
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
