I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize