ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
