But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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