The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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