I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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