Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
