I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize